Tenía tanto que darte

Spring came again and I took a notebook out of my bag again. But it wasn't the notebook of songs. It was this notebook you have in your hands. At first I was scared, I'm not going to lie to you, but this time I felt calmer. She was smiling with eyes full of stardust... Wait, wait... have you lost? Don't worry, I'll explain quickly: in 2002 I joined Operación Triunfo, but the first one expelled me. I became the most famous loser in Spain. Three years later, I formed the Nena Daconte group. It wasn't the first time I had a group, but this time we hit the target. Universal signed us and the overwhelming success came. Which Star Will You Be On sounded big and in its own right. Awards, tours, all the doors open... But at that time I smoked joints and started to abuse alcohol. A stage of self-destruction began that ended in my first psychotic break. A year later, with the song I had so much to give you, success was unstoppable, devastating. Paranoia, anxiety and fear continued. Difficult combination. Everything was bad in my head. Triumph made me feel terrible, guilt ate me up inside and destroyed everything that came from me. We did more than two hundred concerts in a year. My mental health worsened. Since then, I've had several different psychiatric diagnoses: psychotic depression, bipolar personality disorder, anxiety... A doctor once told me that it would get worse over the years. So it was. Of all the toxic relationships I had, the worst one was with music, so I quit. I abandoned. I disappeared. Hui. At least until today, when I took this notebook out of my bag again... It's been a long journey to get here.